Here’s what I REALLY want to say: “Screw you, you stupid MAN! You think you can just touch a woman without asking her? GET OFF OF ME THIS IS NOT CUTE.”

5. Get up and leave if the date is going poorly for any reason and you know you don’t want more.

Ain’t nobody got time to sit through dates that are uncomfortable, boring or even offensive. I think this rule is especially relevant to online dating. A great thing about OkCupid is that you can meet people who you may never meet in your in-person daily life. This also means that if the date is not going well, you can quickly make an exit, as it is typically highly unlikely that you may ever run into that person again.

And both date participants know that there is a whole OkCupid universe out there waiting to connect you to more people. It’s like shopping! But seriously, most people are not going to be THAT offended if they quickly realize that you aren’t interested.

My philosophy is if you try on one dress that doesn’t fit, try on the one on the hanger next to it!

Of course, when you make your exit, you should be polite and make up some excuse. And then later, if the person texts you, please be direct and tell them in a polite yet honest way that you are not interested.

What I do at parties to escape an awkward conversation is say, “Excuse me, I need to go refill my cup at the punch bowl.” But since this excuse doesn’t usually apply on OkCupid dates, I usually make up an excuse about waking up incredibly early for work or for an event. I can do this now that I am temporarily a real person.