I didn’t pressure him about sex because I thought he was having age related issues with regards to his libido
Yes…she affaired down. Actually, they both did. Both of them lack and value or integrity that are the measure of a real person. They also lack the ability to support themselves financially.
I ended up filing for divorce after trying to save what was left of our marriage for over 1 1/2 years. She basically did nothing to help repair the damage she caused. I never even got the whole, honest truth from her. I never even saw any real remorse.
After the divorce was final her OM dumped her…big surprise. Apparently it was fun as long as my wife was a free piece of azz and there were commitments to deal with.
Decimated, sorry you had such a horrible experience. I’m seeing a theme here. When you treat someone good, especially better than they deserve, they start thinking they really are “all that and a bag of chips “. They get really confident and think it has to do with them when it really just has to do with you and your integrity. I bet she never has it so good ever again.
I always thought that you should treat people the way you want to be treated and after you make a commitment…you give 100% but I found out that it isn’t always appreciated. Some people are born, or possibly raised to be takers…not givers. Some put there best foot forward for a while then revert to their natural state. Her and her boyfriend were birds of a feather in that respect. She did become super arrogant and selfish especially after her affair started. The distance between us started to grow and any respect for me vanished. As a result of this I tried even harder. I never felt so helpless…I tried everything.
It has been a long painful road but I now realize that it was all about her. There was nothing wrong with me and, it wouldn’t have mattered if I was the perfect husband or not…the end result was inevitable.
I now know that I will be fine…will survive. I have a lot of desirable qualities that a woman will hopefully cherish. I will not change who I am because of what she did. If I feel an imbalance or selfishness I will not hesitate to make changes or leave.
I am becoming more optimistic with each eharmonyA mГіvel day. I can’t help but think how wonderful life would be like with someone who is a giver like me. It gives me something to look forward to. I need to complete the process of emotionally re-centering.
However, I am not in a hurry to jump into a relationship yet
You are right. I doubt she will ever have it as good as she did with me. We were pretty comfortable. Although she did make out pretty good financially from the divorce…her life will be a lot more difficult especially after the alimony runs out.
Decimated This is such an interesting take on this issue. I never thought about it before. I did what I thought was everything to make my H’s life comfortable. I never nagged him about anything. I sorted his drawers and closets. Cleaned up after him. Made beautiful meals and kept the house spotless. I took care of all the bills and household maintenance. I was witty and interesting to his friends. He could work till late in the evening even though I had a beautiful meal cooked and waiting for him. If we went out to dinner it was because he wanted to and it had to always be another couple not just the two of us. HAHAHA I made myself a doormat under the guise of “being a good wife”. How stupid was I. He was getting from someone else. Yep he was a taker too and I was too stupid to realize this until your post. Yes you did too much for her and made her life wayyyy to easy. You treated her too well. Made her feel too important. She needed to be knocked down a few notches. Sounds like that is what happened.
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